Sittin' on blades like Kristy Yamaguchi
Oh, those clever Clipse. Finally, after years delay, Jive will be releasing Hell Hath No Fury this fall. If you weren't fortunate enough to hear their We Got It For Cheap series mixtapes, download the track "Zen." Hell, download the entire Vol. 2 release, widely heralded -- and deservedly so -- as one of 2005's top hip-hop releases.
On to less important things: I'm a recent college graduate. On May 14th, I accepted my BA, many of my friends earned a BS, but I couldn't help but wonder why math majors aren't rewarded with a BM. I guess those who long ago established the traditional degrees realized how awkward it might sound to brag, "I worked for hard years for a BM." Poop jokes might never leave my system, butt the Davidson College English department can be commended, as its products emerge from the bowels of academia, for imparting scatological sophistication.
Just before graduation masses of seniors migrated to Charleston for a week of absurdity. I saw some good fights, drank some good drinks, and inhaled good n' plenty. The highlight: the word 'loafing', already subject to alternative usages, was endowed an entirely new connotation. The kind Mary Jane helped my household understand that loafing can serve as a noun, verb, or adjective - perhaps even a number. The possibilities for usage are so endless I can't even provide examples, for that would simply be too limiting.
Driving back to Davidson from Charleston, I observed a man lugging what appeared to be two halves of a television from some establishment on the side of the road. After watching him hurl his apparently ninjad TV into a dumpster, I noticed the sign adorning the building: "If we can't fix it, it's not broken." Now I'm no repairman myself, but I can't imagine fusing TV slices is much more manageable than rebuilding a shattered bottle. Still, the claim that business is making is infuriating; to emerge from a repair shop with an undeniably broken product to be mocked -- "If we can't fix it, it's not broken" -- might inspire the rage required to storm back inside, beat the repairman's head in with any blunt tool, then serenade his spasming body with his own motto. Maybe breaking the repairman's neck would be more satisfying, so he'd be conscious to comprehend the irony. Or maybe you'd forego the revenge and offer a life-saving-suggestion for a better sign, "If we can't fix it, it's definitely broken."
I've got to go beat my loaf.
On to less important things: I'm a recent college graduate. On May 14th, I accepted my BA, many of my friends earned a BS, but I couldn't help but wonder why math majors aren't rewarded with a BM. I guess those who long ago established the traditional degrees realized how awkward it might sound to brag, "I worked for hard years for a BM." Poop jokes might never leave my system, butt the Davidson College English department can be commended, as its products emerge from the bowels of academia, for imparting scatological sophistication.
Just before graduation masses of seniors migrated to Charleston for a week of absurdity. I saw some good fights, drank some good drinks, and inhaled good n' plenty. The highlight: the word 'loafing', already subject to alternative usages, was endowed an entirely new connotation. The kind Mary Jane helped my household understand that loafing can serve as a noun, verb, or adjective - perhaps even a number. The possibilities for usage are so endless I can't even provide examples, for that would simply be too limiting.
Driving back to Davidson from Charleston, I observed a man lugging what appeared to be two halves of a television from some establishment on the side of the road. After watching him hurl his apparently ninjad TV into a dumpster, I noticed the sign adorning the building: "If we can't fix it, it's not broken." Now I'm no repairman myself, but I can't imagine fusing TV slices is much more manageable than rebuilding a shattered bottle. Still, the claim that business is making is infuriating; to emerge from a repair shop with an undeniably broken product to be mocked -- "If we can't fix it, it's not broken" -- might inspire the rage required to storm back inside, beat the repairman's head in with any blunt tool, then serenade his spasming body with his own motto. Maybe breaking the repairman's neck would be more satisfying, so he'd be conscious to comprehend the irony. Or maybe you'd forego the revenge and offer a life-saving-suggestion for a better sign, "If we can't fix it, it's definitely broken."
I've got to go beat my loaf.
posted by Mr. Pibba at 11:15 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home